Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Totally Unsatisfied
So a guy almost ran me off the road today. One of the worst “near misses” I have ever experienced (which says much since I have also experienced a few hits). So I followed the guy to see what his hurry was. I was hoping he would go to his house so I could see where he lived. Or if he were in a rush to get to the bar or the strip club that would be okay. But he wasn’t in a rush to get to the bar or the strip club. I followed him for 30 miles and his destination was … are you ready for this … an ATM. God forbid the ATM run out of money or something. I had to confront him.
I thought about letting the whole thing go. The longer I followed him, however, the madder I got. This guy cut in front of me off of a ramp but never in 30 miles did he let one individual merge. He rode the ass of the person in front of him. To top it off, he only got out of the far left lane a few hundred yards before his exit.
I pulled in front of him at the ATM so that he couldn’t pull forward. Then the yelling started. I wanted to know why he was in such a rush to get to a 24 hour ATM and how a blind person that couldn’t read “yield” signs got a drivers license. He had no defense but tried one anyway. Then he threatened me. Totally funny having a fat, bald, over-the-hill redneck try to threaten me. So I started to get out of the van (thought about grabbing a drywall knife first – picture the mouth of a barracuda). He starts to back out of the ATM. Then I laughed and got back in my van. He was all talk and no action once he thought his ass was in real trouble but he sure didn’t have a second thought when swerving a 2 ton piece of metal across the interstate.
This incident, unfortunately, was completely unsatisfying. I was hoping I would feel better about informing an ignorant individual of their errant ways. I guess if I would have stepped out of the van with a .45 he would have been more apologetic or would have backed up faster. I’m not sure though but I don’t think I’ll be happy until I get to tie one of these fuckers naked to a tree, stab them in the leg with a screw driver, and leave a note duct taped to their penis explaining their ignorance to the first person that finds them.
I thought about letting the whole thing go. The longer I followed him, however, the madder I got. This guy cut in front of me off of a ramp but never in 30 miles did he let one individual merge. He rode the ass of the person in front of him. To top it off, he only got out of the far left lane a few hundred yards before his exit.
I pulled in front of him at the ATM so that he couldn’t pull forward. Then the yelling started. I wanted to know why he was in such a rush to get to a 24 hour ATM and how a blind person that couldn’t read “yield” signs got a drivers license. He had no defense but tried one anyway. Then he threatened me. Totally funny having a fat, bald, over-the-hill redneck try to threaten me. So I started to get out of the van (thought about grabbing a drywall knife first – picture the mouth of a barracuda). He starts to back out of the ATM. Then I laughed and got back in my van. He was all talk and no action once he thought his ass was in real trouble but he sure didn’t have a second thought when swerving a 2 ton piece of metal across the interstate.
This incident, unfortunately, was completely unsatisfying. I was hoping I would feel better about informing an ignorant individual of their errant ways. I guess if I would have stepped out of the van with a .45 he would have been more apologetic or would have backed up faster. I’m not sure though but I don’t think I’ll be happy until I get to tie one of these fuckers naked to a tree, stab them in the leg with a screw driver, and leave a note duct taped to their penis explaining their ignorance to the first person that finds them.
# posted by chilort @ 7:41 PM 
