My Shit

It's true. After I was gone most of last weekend and very little of that time that you claimed was used for "studying" was made up in us-time, the girlfriend tends to get stabby.
 

I could have been working on the first item from the Not So Fun list but I haven't. I feel like I've had very little time to myself lately and I've used the last two hours to just surf the web.

Working on the PhD stuff is not "me" time in any sense of the word. It is work. Work, just work. It can be fun work, but for the most part, it is just work. So I end up working, then trying to make sure the girlfriend isn't stabby, and trying to find some sleeping time.

As it would turn out, when I don't get enough time to myself to just ignore all responsibility to anyone or anything I become a giant jack ass. Sometimes I just need copious amounts of time to soak on nothing at all. I'm finding it harder and harder to get that time these days. I’m not very good at worrying about others’ needs. The bad part is, the more time goes on, and the more I have to worry about it, the less I want to worry about it or work on it. I don’t know what this means, but I don’t think it is very good.
 

So far I've done the good, and I've even managed to do quite a bit of the bad. I've also been able to do it all without risking my life. Of course, palila has had people in town all weekend. I really like being able to get my stuff done - both the good and the bad. It releases so much stress, and makes me feel so much better.

I guess my being a giant jack ass isn't binary. It is sort of a cumulative function. The more work I don't have done and the more stress I feel the more of a jack ass I tend to be.