Thursday, August 07, 2008

 

Committed

You know, sometimes you get yourself into a situation and you can't get out of it and that sucks. You just have to keep your head low, do what you gotta do, and hope it is over as soon as possible and as painlessly as possible. I'm, of course, talking about my Ph.D. program.

I don't talk about it much, but I'm really very tired of it. Performance evaluation is almost always negative and too late to do anything about correcting the issue (which is funny, because we teach how performance evaluation shouldn't be that way). We were also told three months ago that we would get huge raises on July 31st. We did not. For the second year in a row, someone in payroll f'ed up. We'll get the pay on August 31st, but that sure doesn't help with the start up costs associated with a new school year.

Three months ago, the Dean made a presentation about changes to the PhD program based upon findings from some action committee. One of the findings was that we were underpaid compared to other PhDs in similar programs (see above). We actually were (still are thanks to payroll) considerably underpaid compared to other similar programs and were (are) also underpaid compared to other PhDs on campus in other programs (I have to thank a friend in another group for cluing me in on that one).

We were also told that we would be required to work less for the school/faculty this coming year. The college is actively trying to make the program easier for people to actually get through. My department currently has three students in their 6th year (!) and one will certainly go into her 7th!! To help people get through faster the college has placed several requirements on the faculty to actually teach the needed classes (which was kind of funny). We had also been required to work 20 hours per week when not teaching and 10 hours per week when teaching for the faculty. This was much more than other similar programs (in private schools, PhD students are often not required to work at all). At the same time as the pay announcement, we were told that we would be working 0 hours when teaching and 14 hours when not teaching. Woooh!

Then the faculty raised hell. My adviser was one of the culprits (and she had the chutzpah to tell me this to my face). The college has apparently decided to go back to the old policy, but has yet to make an announcement about this. Though my department has sent out work assignments for the upcoming year with the full work schedule listed. I was complaining about this to a highly regarded faculty member in another group. At first he had zero sympathy. His policy is that grad students should have to work their asses off. But then he found out that much of it was skut work (grading, proctoring exams, doing unrelated research, helping with someone's consulting business, aiding in recruiting) and not related to research that matched the student's interests. He then sided with me. Grad students should have to work their asses off, but only if it is relevant.

The relationship between me and my adviser is abysmal. She may be tops in her area, but I don't really care for her that much and Palila hates her. The unspoken rules, the ludicrous expectations ... the relationship is so damaged it seems unlikely that I will work with her after I graduate. It is really too bad because she has a great publication rate and she generally continues to work with her former students in a way that sees them to success. Regardless, I don't think I want to continue the relationship. If I am going to be successful, it will be doing my work that interests me and it will be my ideas and my hard work, and I don't want her to benefit from that whatsoever at this point. Luckily, I am working with a much more highly regarded faculty member in another department and it seems likely that this relationship will be much more beneficial in the future (as long as he doesn't freaking retire). It is also much less acrimonious (actually, not acrimonious at all, I love the guy).

All I have left to do now is my dissertation. I would like to finish this process in a year. Unfortunately, it means I will have to stick around for two years because I cannot go on the job market without data (and actually get a job). I have had two ideas turned down so far (both were too much to do for a dissertation or not directly related to my field according the faculty) but I think I have a winner now. I guess we'll see once I talk about the kernel of the idea over with my adviser.

I try to not let most of this get to me, but it does. It has to and there is little I can do to stop it. I'm tired of being broke again. I'm to the point where I wish there was an easy way out of this. But there isn't. I've taken too much money out in college loans. I now pretty much have to see this through to fruition and get the big dollar, high paying job. If not, I'll never get out from under this debt. And it has to be better once I graduate and actually have a job, right?

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